


i hold on

by parkrstark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Clingy Peter Parker, College, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 18:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15891564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkrstark/pseuds/parkrstark
Summary: Tony knows Peter is a little anxious about starting college, so he does the best he can to make it a little bit easier.





	i hold on

Tony scanned the room searching for Peter in the crowd of people around the tower. It was nothing compared to a typical Stark event, but it was enough to be hectic. May and Tony had planned a going away party for Peter and invited all of the Avengers. 

 

The kid was moving into MIT the next morning and they were having one last hoorah. Tony was grateful for everyone that came and made Peter smile; it kept his mind off of leaving. He’d been anxious the past few weeks thinking about starting college and Tony was doing his best to help calm him down. 

 

The last time he had checked, he’d been sucking the helium out of balloons with Cassie in the corner of the room, but now Cassie was asleep on the couch and Peter was nowhere to be seen. 

 

His first thought was he was with May, but she was having a drink with Nat at the bar. So he turned to Rhodey and asked in a low voice, “Hey, you seen the kiddie around?”

 

Rhodey shook his head. “Nope. Check a quieter room maybe? He seemed to be getting a little...overwhelmed before. Steve said it was because he inhaled so much helium.” He rolled his eyes. “He was just being over-protective when the kid said he felt like he was going to pass out.” 

 

Tony looked across the room where Steve was standing with Sam. They met eyes and Steve nodded his head towards the hallway. Tony mouthed  _ thank you _ before staring towards where he believed Peter disappeared. He was most likely in his room. 

 

He made a quick detour in his room to get the bag from his closet and then he headed back to Peter’s room. He didn’t  _ live  _ in the tower, but he was there often enough to have a room. Tony tried not to think about how little Tony was going to see him once he was in college. Worst case scenario, it was only a little less than a four drive and a much shorter ride in the Iron Man suit if Peter really needed him...or if Tony needed Peter. 

 

The distance was going to be rough at first. Tony knew that was Peter’s biggest worry-- being so far away from everyone was going to be hard on him. He had debated on going to a closer school where he could commute because he didn’t want to leave Queens without Spider-Man and May without Peter. But, somehow, Tony and May managed to convince him to choose the college of his dreams. 

 

Again-- it was going to be rough, but Tony knew Peter could handle it. He’d get used to it. But, it was going to be hard. So, that’s why Tony was here to help make the transition just a little easier. 

 

He knocked lightly on the door as he opened it up. Peter was sitting on his bed, just staring at the ground. Tony cleared his throat and said, “Knock, knock.” 

 

Peter said up quickly and forced a smile on his face. “Oh, hey, Mr. Stark,” he greeted. The kid was probably going to be thirty years old and still calling him  _ Mr. Stark. _

 

“Don’t ‘hey, Mr. Stark’ me,” Tony said, walking closer. “What’re you doing in here? Party’s looking for you.” 

 

“It was just a little loud; I needed a quiet place for a few minutes,” Peter said, and  Tony believe him. But he was still hiding something. 

 

Tony took a seat on the bed next to him and bumped their shoulders together softly. “You know we’re alone, right? It’s just Tony and Peter now. You can take that smile off your face and tell me what’s really wrong.” 

 

“I’m okay,” Peter said, and the smile on his face pained Tony to look at. 

 

“Kid,” he said, knowing that’s all he needed to say to break the kid’s thinly built wall. 

 

Peter let out a shaky breath and his voice was cracked as he admitted, “I’m a little scared.” 

 

Tony nodded his head, as he put a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “What’s scaring you, bud?”

 

He looked down at his lap when his eyes started to well up. His picked at a stain on his t-shirt from the impromptu food fight Clint started. “Everything.” He paused. “But I guess, being alone is the worst.” 

 

Tony knew it. Ever since he was little, May told him that Peter had trouble with being alone. And especially after Ben’s passing, it got worse. The few years that Tony knew him, he was always looking for some sort of physical comfort. Usually, it was subconsciously, but he was always seeking  _ something _ . Whether he was brushing his hand against his when they were working close together or he was hooking his finger in Tony’s belt loop when they were caught in a crowd of paparazzi or when Tony became a human pillow on the nights Peter was tired but refused to go up to his room. 

 

It was the sleeping that worried him the most. 

 

Peter didn’t have nightmares every night, but he had them often enough. And after a particularly bad one, he usually avoided sleeping for as long as he could. The only way Tony was able to get him to sleep was to crawl into bed next to him and lay there until he fell asleep. He most always stayed because he didn’t want the kid waking up alone/ The kid was a freaking leech and once he had his grip on someone laying next to him, he never let go. Steve didn’t believe it until he let Peter sleep on his shoulder during a recent movie night and he wasn’t able to pry the kid off until the next morning. 

 

“Ned’s gonna be there, right,” Tony said, thankful for Peter’ best friend. They were rooming together because they both needed one another. Peter didn’t want to wake up a random person with his nightmares every few weeks. Ned was familiar with it; he knew about Spider-Man. He knew what plagued Peter at night. He was more than comfortable with climbing into Peter’s bed to help him calm down. 

 

“Ned should have a life outside of me,” Peter countered. “I don’t want to be a burden on him.” 

 

“You’re not a burden. You’re his best friend,” Tony corrected. “He wants to spend so much time with you. I don’t think he would have tried so hard for MIT if he didn’t.” Ned definitely busted his ass to get in, but he didn't need to. Both boys were getting into the school and rooming together because he was Tony Stark. 

 

“What if he wants to go out or he gets new friends or he spends the night somewhere else,” Peter started to fidget with his hands as his nerves grew. 

 

Tony slowly took his hands in his. “Hey, Pete, it’s okay. Something tells me Ned isn’t going to go looking for new people. You’re his people. But, if there comes a time when he goes a different way, that’s okay. You don’t want to be too codependent on one another.” 

 

Peter nodded his head, like he had already been thinking about this. “I don’t want to hold him back.” 

 

“And you’re not going to,” Tony assured him. Peter didn’t respond and Tony watched him carefully for a moment before letting go of Peter’s hands to grab the bag by his feet. “I have a surprise for you.” 

 

Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “A surprise? Mr. Stark, you already financed my entire tuition and everything in my dorm room--.”

 

“No, Peter, we went over this. It’s a  _ loan _ . Just like you would have taken from a bank, except this is interest free.” That was the excuse Tony made up just so Peter would take the help. He had no intentions of making the kid pay him back for anything. 

 

“Either way, you didn’t need to get me anything,” Peter said. 

 

“This isn’t much. Really.” Tony stuck his hand in the bag to find the first gift. “I was just thinking about how stressful being away for the first time can be. I know you crawl into bed with May or me more times than not, and I know it’s going to be weird not having that comfort anymore.” 

 

Peter’s cheeks turned red as Tony mentioned this; he always got embarrassed when Tony or May brought it up to him. “I can sleep alone, Mr. Stark.” 

 

Tony ignored him. “I looked into dogs and apparently, they’re not allowed on campus. And you can’t really  _ cuddle  _ a fish...so, here’s the next best option.” He pulled out a small teddy bear. It was dressed up as Iron Man and was probably the softest bear Tony had ever felt. When Tony Stark asked for a soft bear, he got a  _ soft  _ bear. 

 

Peter hesitated, looking at the stuffed animal. “A teddy bear?” 

 

“Yup,” Tony said as he gave the bear a squeeze. “He’s to hold at night-- stop looking at me like that; it helps.” He handed the bear to Peter. “Here, hold him.” 

 

Hesitantly, Peter took the bear in his hands. He hugged it close to his chest and then smiled. “Yeah, he is kinda soft…” 

 

“Oh, I know he is. And if you get the need to hold something, you’ve got…” Tony paused. “Mr. Bear needs a name.” 

 

Peter grinned. “Tony.” 

 

“Oh, sure, you call the bear Tony.” 

 

Peter laughed, lowering the bear to his chest, but still holding it close. “I like him, Mr. Stark. Thank you.” 

 

“Wait, that’s not all,” he said, reaching into the bag again. “Now, you’re a freaking koala bear when you sleep, so the bear isn’t exactly good for  _ clinging _ and I know Ned can’t be there every night to help, so…” Tony trailed off as he pulled a long pillow out of the bag. 

 

Peter’s eyes widened. “That’s a big pillow.”

 

“It’s body pillow,” Tony said. “You can pretend it’s someone and cuddle close,” Tony suggested, hoping Peter knew he wasn’t teasing him at all. 

 

“But, it’s a pillow,” Peter said, looking a little embarrassed and Tony knew he was trying not to be obvious about just how clingy he was. He didn’t want Tony to know he would rely on a body pillow for comfort like it was a human. 

 

Tony was good at making the kid feel more comfortable. “Scoot over. I’ll show you.” Peter raised an eyebrow but obeyed and moved to the other side of the bed. Tony smiled and laid the pillow on the bed before laying down next to it. “See, I’m laying in bed and I suddenly feel the need to hold someone to feel that comfort.” He hooked one leg around the pillow, hugged it close to his chest and rested his head on it. He smiled and let his eyes shut. “Mmm, comfy.” 

 

When he opened his eyes again, he saw Peter watching him curiously. “Is it?”

 

“Totally,” he said as he sat up and pushed it closer to Peter. “You try.”  Peter didn’t move except for holding his bear a little closer. “C’mon, it won’t hurt you. If you don’t like it, then I’ll keep it here for me.” 

 

So, Peter nodded his head and handed the bear to Tony. He laid down next to the pillow, but didn’t get into a position with it. “How did you do it?”

 

Patiently, Tony explained, “Just imagine it’s me, kiddo. What’s your first step of using me as your pillow?” Peter just stared at him and Tony sighed. “Kid, it’s only us and we both know you cling. It’s okay.” Peter waited a moment before he draped an arm loosely over the pillow. “That’s definitely not how you hold me. Don’t be afraid to break it.” 

 

Peter rolled his eyes. “I don’t  _ squeeze  _ you.” 

 

“I have bruised ribs that say otherwise,” Tony said, even though Peter had only bruised his ribs once with a hug and it wasn’t his fault. It was a dangerous mission, Tony lost connection to the comms and the team thought he was dead, but that wasn’t a memory Tony like to focus on. Especially the giant hug he got from Peter after as the kid sobbed in his chest. 

 

Peter huffed, but tightened his grip to how he usually cuddled and then looked back up at Tony for confirmation. 

 

“Good. Now where’s that leg that always twists its way into mine like a pretzel?” Tony watched Peter hook his leg over the pillow and get more comfy. He laid his head on the pillow without Tony’s direction. “And there’s the head on the chest,” he said softly. “How does that feel?”

 

“I can’t hear your heartbeat,” was all he said. 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Your heartbeat. Listening to it helps me fall asleep,” he said in a low voice. 

 

This kid was too precious for Tony to handle sometimes. “Other than the lack of heartbeat, how is it?”

 

“It’s...nice,” he said, still holding the pillow close. “Really nice.”

 

“I’m glad,” Tony whispered, laying down next to him. “You wanna test it out tonight? I’m sure everyone out there understands you’ve got a busy day tomorrow.” He could already see Peter’s eyes drooping. 

 

“I didn’t get the chance to thank everyone yet,” he said. 

 

“That’s okay, kiddo. I’m sure they’ll still be here tomorrow to see you off.” 

 

Peter smiled as he shut his eyes. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.” 

 

“No problem, squirt,” Tony said, watching the kid slowly let himself fall asleep. 

  
  


And so what, if halfway through the night, Peter gravitated towards him and replaced the body pillow before long. Tony wrapped his arms around Peter and carded his hands through his hair. Peter wasn’t the only one that was going to have to get used to being so far. Tony was going to miss the feeling of running his fingers through his curls. 

 

It was going to be hell for both of them, but they could be strong and last... _ ah, screw it.  _ Tony was going to start the countdown for Peter’s first break the minute after he drove away from MIT tomorrow. 

 

Yeah, this was gonna suck... 

 

Tony held him just a little bit tighter. 

**Author's Note:**

> this summer i spent every night cuddling with one of my little siblings and now i am alone. what did i do the first night as i cried to sleep? held my stuffed monkey and clung to my body pillow.
> 
>  
> 
> Leave your thoughts below!   
> Scream at me on tumblr maybe-- parkrstarkwrites


End file.
